In 2014 I hit autistic/PDA burnout before I had an accurate diagnosis. I got lucky and found an affirming counselor who approached me with low demands and low expectations to facilitate my healing. I remember the imposter syndrome that I struggled with despite her patience and understanding. At my core, getting “better” felt threatening because […]
My counselor told me I’d know that I was recovered when I… Read More »
At the 2024 PDA North American Conference this year I did a breakout group session with co-host PJ Starling on the topic of PDA and adulting. Early in it became clear that the audience concerns were around 1) whether or not people with older children could expect their PDA child to “adult” with success, and
It is common for PDA adults who enjoy sexual intimacy to freeze up by the expectation in it. These are individuals who desire the sexual contact, feel safe with their partners, and are willing participants, and yet aspects around sexual intimacy can inadvertently create pressure and shut us down. Expectations can be: Celebrating romantic occasions,
Reminder that my goal here isn’t a meltdown-free life. All kids and adults have meltdowns, but especially if you are living neurodivergently. I consider it a success when my kids only have one or two a day (depending on age, puberty, so on), myself only one or two a week, and if I’m able to
Public Service Announcement Read More »
Recently I’m reading a lot of off-the-cuff claims that “studies” show a higher correlation of PDA “traits” tied to ADHD than to autism. This is my own off-the-cuff response to these claims: I have zero issue with eventually affirming PDA as it’s own diagnosis that has a high co-occurrence with ADHD and/or autism, but if
Is PDA a byproduct of ADHD? Read More »
I published a podcast recently on the topic of romance and PDA, but heard from more than one person that reading what I have to share would be much easier to access (which I understand because I feel the same). This won’t be the equivalent of a transcription, but an adaptation of my notes. The
Romance, Limerence, Trauma & PDA Read More »
Edited to remove more specific commentary on the situation in order to protect victim’s rights. This image I made is labelled for PDA families but is honestly true of ALL children. Children need caregivers to help guide and provide supports where needed. Adults on the other hand are responsible for utilizing the resources they have
A Response to the Harry Thompson/NEST controversy Read More »
Note: This isn’t intended for diagnostic purposes, and keep in mind that there is usually an overlap in conditions. Expanding the discussion to compare and contrast different diagnoses that look similar to PDA. By request I’ve included B&W versions at the end. From a clinical perspective it becomes difficult to accurately diagnose PDA because of
Different Styles of Demand Avoidance, part 2 Read More »
I’m a 37 year old adult who’s been married, divorcing, heart broken from misread signals, heart broken from obsessing over people I didn’t really know (thanks PDA!) and I STILL struggle like crazy when I develop an attraction. It’s all or nothing. I’m rarely ever “slightly” interested in someone so when I cross a threshold