In 2014 I hit autistic/PDA burnout before I had an accurate diagnosis. I got lucky and found an affirming counselor who approached me with low demands and low expectations to facilitate my healing. I remember the imposter syndrome that I struggled with despite her patience and understanding. At my core, getting “better” felt threatening because […]
My counselor told me I’d know that I was recovered when I… Read More »
I don’t know if I’ve heard very many “we once were a chaotic household, and now we have peace!” stories when it involves PDA. I’ve been a PDA advocate for around a year and a half and much of what I share are the collective experiences of other families, their struggles and successes, my own
This ship has slowly been turning around, and… Read More »
I’m a 37 year old adult who’s been married, divorcing, heart broken from misread signals, heart broken from obsessing over people I didn’t really know (thanks PDA!) and I STILL struggle like crazy when I develop an attraction. It’s all or nothing. I’m rarely ever “slightly” interested in someone so when I cross a threshold
I have not felt like a good mom lately. And before many rush in to reassure me that “none of us are perfect parents” and lament systems and cultures that put unrealistic pressure on us; I do understand that. Honestly I do. This isn’t about me feeling bad for not being perfect. This is me
Making Respite Work Read More »
These last two weeks my mind keeps circling over my pain. It has been a month since I last talked to my former best friend, and still throughout the day an intrusive thought pops in full of rage at feeling misunderstood. Sadness that that person is struggling. Sadness that I’m struggling. What brings two people
Healing gray pain with a black and white mind Read More »
This month I didn’t make any goals. I stayed at exactly the same weight, which under the situation I consider a “win”. My family and myself personally underwent two unexpected traumas back to back. The first was when someone close to me threatened to kill me. The second was a week after when my best
PDA Weightloss Journey, Month 3.5 Read More »
I shared an infographic on my Facebook page yesterday to describe how I feel when people check in on me when I’m struggling or in burnout. My post got a variety of responses, with some people relating to my feelings, others pointing out how some don’t get checked on at all and feel worse for
When Asking for “Help” Has a Steep Cost Read More »
Trigger warning for anyone struggling with body image or eating disorders: My personal weakness is comfort eating and eating to stim flavors when stressed, so please be aware that that’s the direction I’m coming from as I try to heal my relationship with food. Also I mention weightloss apps and programs in this post, none
PDA Weightloss Journey, Month 2 Read More »
My examination of my failed efforts and what I’ve learned about myself through running No Pressure PDA.
Personal Log 6/13/22 Read More »