I’m a 37 year old adult who’s been married, divorcing, heart broken from misread signals, heart broken from obsessing over people I didn’t really know (thanks PDA!) and I STILL struggle like crazy when I develop an attraction. It’s all or nothing. I’m rarely ever “slightly” interested in someone so when I cross a threshold […]
A graphic I made last year that attempted to tease apart different styles of demand avoidance was popular enough that I decided to repost it last week. I then decided it could use some expanding, and came up with the following: In black and white: It has since been shared almost a thousand times making
Different Styles of Demand Avoidance Read More »
I’ve mentioned before that one of my kids has a different PDA profile than me, which means they have a different way of expressing their anxiety so I struggle troubleshooting with them as much as anyone would (and maybe more because his way of regulating triggers my own sensitivities). I’ve also mentioned how PDA anxiety
Why Knowing the Correct Diagnosis Matters Read More »
Five months ago I rolled out what was essentially an outline of a theory of expanding what are called trauma/threat/adrenal responses. These are the behaviors our bodies engage in when under threat; the most popularized being the four F’s: fight, flight, freeze and fawn. What started this journey was reading a blog my kindred writer
Trauma Responses Revisited Read More »
One assumption about behavior is that if the reaction to something is sophisticated, like lying, faking illness, overly exaggerated reactions, that the NEED must be fabricated too. PDA individuals, even young kids, are known for using sophisticated social strategies to manage their anxiety. There can be a certain false note to these behaviors that make
PDA and Sophisticated Survival Read More »
The next three I do in the series will go together as a trio where I parse what masking means for autistics, neurotypicals, and PDA/CPTSDers. Looks like: The autistic is struggling and requires help to fit in with their peers. Classes, counseling, training will help them overcome all these struggles their autism presents The Reality:
Lost in Translation #06a; Autistic: Masked Read More »
I have not felt like a good mom lately. And before many rush in to reassure me that “none of us are perfect parents” and lament systems and cultures that put unrealistic pressure on us; I do understand that. Honestly I do. This isn’t about me feeling bad for not being perfect. This is me
Making Respite Work Read More »
In a recent Instagram/social media share, Jo Frost released the following: Jo Frost is well known for her long-running television series “Supernanny” where she travels the U.S. trying to help troubled families with their children’s behavior. This image with its caption alone is enough to bristle most neurodivergent families; how often are we accused of
Current Events: SuperNanny Strikes a Bad Chord on Social Media Read More »
Looks like: Expects things of others that they won’t also do themselves. The Reality: PDA needs flexibility from others, but struggles if others need the same. This isn’t a matter of control because of arrogance, but survival. What others can’t see is that below the surface there are limited resources, and PDAers have to be
Lost In Translation #05; PDA: Double Standard Read More »
Please note: This advice is not intended to replace guidance from a trained professional Had my counseling appointment today. Because I’m showing signs of PTSD from my experiences recently my counselor is recommending a treatment he uses called Dorsal Vagus Nerve Threat Response Remediation Technique. He mentioned teaching me it before as something I could
Dorsal Vagus Nerve Threat Response Remediation Technique Read More »