One assumption about behavior is that if the reaction to something is sophisticated, like lying, faking illness, overly exaggerated reactions, that the NEED must be fabricated too.
PDA individuals, even young kids, are known for using sophisticated social strategies to manage their anxiety. There can be a certain false note to these behaviors that make adults second guess what’s actually going on, but these kids (and adults) genuinely have a way of expressing themselves that presents as intentional, but is in actuality instinctive and primal.
The NEED is real, even if the communication strikes false.
What’s driving the sophistication is a desire to hide that we’re struggling; to find “socially acceptable” ways out of things so that we aren’t noticed. Being noticed is kryptonite for a PDAer and we will do what we can to avoid pity or shame.
Many young PDA minds are equipped with the natural radar for social strategies, and their panicked mind seizes on whatever behavior is their flavor (such as excessive joking, or maybe skillful debate) in order to find peace.
Please remember these are children and the NEED is real.
Even regarding PDA adults: please trust that when in panic mode we behave in ways we wouldn’t otherwise.
Appearances are both the PDA gift and curse.